Was watching a scene in WandaVision episode 8, when Wanda was expressing her sadness losing her twin brother…
Wanda: It’s just like this wave washing over me again and again. It knocks me down and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And I can’t… It’s gonna drown me.
Vision: No. No, Wanda.
Wanda: How do you know?
Vision: Because it can’t be all sorrow, can it? I’ve always been alone so I don’t feel the lack. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve never experienced loss because I’ve never had a loved one to lose. What is grief, if not love persevering?
The last line by Vision really got me – “What is grief, if not love persevering?“. People always see “grieving” as something “negative” they need to move away from. When, as the line said, it’s just an act for trying to hold on to the love as much as we can. Al-fatihah buat arwah atok dan wan ♥
Today paksa diri buat small workout. Kejap je dalam 15 minit. Tak nak paksa diri buat berat2 dulu. Takut nanti kalau rasa susah dan terlalu penat, tak nak buat lagi pulak. Since for bulan puasa ni rasa susah lebih sikit nak exercise kat luar, maka just buat dalam rumah sahaja. I guna this “Home Workout” app.
Moga sis kekal semangat dan istiqamah haha.
Lepas ni nak kemas2 rumah. Kemas rumah ni pun best dan some sort of workout juga haha.
This is my journey to heal. Starting today. For the past 2 years, I have been surpressing my feelings – doing things I hate, not appreciated for things I did, people taken advantages and manipulated my weaknesses. I suffered more as each day passed by. Worst thing was, I didn’t realize this. So I was left drowing in depression without help. And people around me were not much of any help either – by either not wanting to understand or just ignoring it cause it’s none of their problem.
Until it took a toll on my physical health. Only later after that, it got me thinking, made me see and realize more things. I need to get out of this and save myself. As much as I hated myself, deep down I know that I worth more than this. I deserve to be treated better. I need to find it again. I need to love myself back.
Maybe what happened to me for the past 6-7 months were just a way for God to help me. I had to go through that hell so I was forced to find my way to be at better place and path.
Was watching this earlier, and suddenly mengalir air mata. Really hit me hard. Sangat agree bila dia kata, we usually don’t approach things sooner. Dan bila kita sedar, it’s already too late, bila kita dah tak boleh cope lagi.
Manager and colleagues pun patut main peranan penting, have more empathy and be more caring. Kerja memang sentiasa banyak. Bila down, memang semua jadi extra harder. Allah je tau. Tapi bila kita rasa happier, benda tu senang nak dilalui. So, patutnya among colleagues, jaga dan tanya lah well being masing2. Tak semua ada keluarga dan sahabat terdekat untuk berpaut.
I pray no one would go through what I did. Moga kalian semua dilindungi dan dipermudah urusan. Amin…
Nabi Muhammad ﷺ bersabda: “Sesiapa yang mengambil tujuh (7) butir kurma Ajwa pada waktu pagi, maka sihir dan racun tidak akan menyakitinya pada hari itu.” Sahih al-Bukhari 5779.
