‘Lampi’ with negative feelings

I realized I have this when dealing with negative feelings. Like for example, when my manager told all sort of things that could upset me. At that moment, and few days later, I usually will still be OK. I feel OK. But after that, I start to feel sad + miserable + apathetic towards my work.

I think it’s because, at first I keep convincing and telling myself to be optimistic, “come on Najwa, be positive!”, thus I will brush the negative feeling aside.

And I guess it make things worse? The frustration actually keep building up, while I tried hard to ignore it. Hmm.. plus, nowadays, I have no one to talk to, which makes it worse I guess.

When my grandmother was alive, when I feel upset, I would always immediately talk to her. She would listen, entertain and made me feel a little bit better. It kind of helped to be honest. Sigh…